Reviewing a candy like Twizzlers might seem a bit pointless, but I just wanted the opportunity to say: I don’t understand twizzlers.

Sure, they look good, and they have a fun name. You can also use them as a straw, or tie them in to a knot. But what good does all this do when they lack the most fundamental of trait for any candy? They have no taste!

Now, if I was very hungry, and I had to fill up on some sort of candy, then Twizzlers might be my choice. It just seems more filling and ‘foody’ than most other candies.
I feel like I am chewing on a piece rubber, or some dried up bread dough. It keeps you occupied chewing, but not much more.

Maybe therein lays the secret of Twizzlers. You are left with a weird unsatisfying aftertaste, and the only way to fix this is to eat another piece. All the while thinking “Surely, this one will taste better. The first five I ate must just have been duds. They can’t possibly be meant to taste like that”. Then before you know it, the bag is empty. You vow to never buy another bag, but then a few years later you see it in the store in its bright red bag “Ah Twizzlers. Everyone likes twizzlers. Look at that nice bright red bag. It’s been ages since I had one. I wonder why…”

Twizzlers also have the advantage of being the office-candy of choice in many companies. Every respectable office supply company who sell bulk candy seems to stock twizzlers. I suspect it’s because they don’t deteriorate with age (since they are virtually tasteless even when they are fresh).

There, I said it! Now I am just waiting for all the hate-mail from twizzlers-lovers out there (nah, who am I kidding, no one reads this blog anyway…)